I just needed to write

I'm not exactly sure where I want to go with the post, so I'll just keep writing and see where it takes me:

Today felt strange. I found out Blake Webb passed away. Now, I don't even remember Blake and I ever conversing, but we did sit at the same lunch table on a number of occasions and hung with the same crowd. In fact, we participated in the same conversations. Just never directly to each other. I remember going to Hunan with him and the football team one time. I remember thinking he and Justin Summit looked alike, with the blond hair and ruddy cheeks. And I remember facebook "stalking" him from time to time (really, I would just click on his page as I made the rounds through my friends), and thinking "hmm..I should really add him as a friend and say hi"...And just hours before I found out, I had a dream about everyone from high school, and he was in it. He played a small roll in the dream, all he did was walk by. But he was there. And now he isn't.

It's sad that it takes moments like this, a classmate, a friend, leaving for everyone to come together. Because I know all across my facebook status updates, everyone was feeling the same thing. Shock first, then sadness. The memories, however small or long ago, are there. And now everyone talks about how much they appreciate and loved him. I need to remind myself to appreciate, love, and thank everyone while they are still around. I need to remember to say hi before the chance is gone.

On another note, I am severely homesick. I just need to be back. I love it here in Japan. I'm having a lot of fun, experiencing a completely different culture, and enjoying it immensely. But it just feels like we need to be home. Brian is thinking about doing green to gold, and I pray it happens for us. He's in Australia right now, and I am incredibly lonely so I am sure that has something to do with it. I have a lot of friends out here already, but it's just not the same yet. I know it will take time. This is the first duty station we've been to where I didn't have a girlfriend or wife of one of my husband's current friends to become friends with, so it feels like there is more pressure to have people like me because no one is obligated to lol.

hmm...what else?

I'm pretty certain of the career path I want to choose. Of course, I have said that before. I think us going home will help me out a lot though. Good babysitters, real schools, I might actually get more done. Oh, speaking of getting more done, Coralyn said I should post this picture to let everyone know I finished my class:

I rearranged the living room, put up curtains, and cleaned because I suddenly have all the time in the world. I'm hoping I fill more of that time with hobbies, and not so much of it on Facebook!

You know, life can be sad and confusing. But even when I am feeling down, I just feel so completely blessed. All my faith is in God. I have no doubt that He is making a way to do great things through me. Even in my darkest hour, I will be filled with joy.