Some of you may recall my
letter to dear old Aunt Flo from a while back, and I must have upset her back then. My how she can hold a grudge, because she won't be showing up anymore (for at least the next 35 weeks anyway). I was really not ready to announce it to the world yet. REALLY not ready. But Brian is pretty excited about it, so he told the world. And now everyone will know. Might as well write about it.
This was a huge shock/surprise, and I'm a little embarrassed to be completely honest. Feeling a little dumb as well. Can someone please tell me how I passed Anatomy & Physiology with an A last semester, when I don't even know that you get pregnant the week after your period and not the week before? I had forgotten to put in my nuvaring, and Brian just happened to come home on what I later found out was my most fertile day of the month. I thought "no biggie, just had my period. We are good to go!" Then 2 weeks and 4 days of waiting for "Flo" my boobs started to get a little perkier, my legs started cramping, and I started to feel the groin pain from the end of the last pregnancy. I thought I better test.
I had a test from the last time, and it must have just been too old because the digital hourglass flashed for about 2 minutes and then the test just turned off. I thought I was just being paranoid anyway, so instead of running to the shoppette, I went about my bid-ness and eventually went to bed telling myself to stop worrying/googling pregnancy symptoms on my iphone (I have found no matter how many times you get pregnant, you will still end up googling everything about pregnancy until the day your child is born).
The next day I went and bought another box with 2 tests, and thought about buying tampons too just in case but they didn't have the ones I wanted. So I checked out with the box of tests and a carton of milk. I took the first test as soon as I got home. Another error. These tests hate me, and I'm out of pee. So I waited a few hours, assumed I couldn't really even be pregnant since I wasn't running to the bathroom every 5 minutes, took the test anyway, hung around for a while expecting another error message or "
Not Pregnant" to show up in the results window, picked up the test when I noticed the hour glass stopped flashing, and dropped it immediately as I hit my hand to my chest and gasped. Then I just kept saying "oh man" over and over and over and over. I picked up the test and read it again. I looked at that test at least 5 times to make sure I was reading it right, then I rubbed my eyes and read it again. I looked as close as I could for the faintest appearance of the word "Not" But there it was, clear as day: "
Pregnant" in digital copy. Later I took a test at the hospital just to be sure, and they confirmed it. I even half expected them to tell me the result was negative. I had really thought I was just being paranoid. This was quite unexpected.
The shock is still there, and I don't think my mind has really accepted it yet. Three kids is a lot to dwell on. And the more I dwell on it, the more I get this hunch that it's twins. I'm really really really hoping THAT is just me being paranoid.
I wasn't ready to announce it because I didn't really want people to say anything negative to or about it. I wasn't ready for the obvious and inevitable "you know how that happens, right?" comments. I wasn't even ready to hear "congratulations" yet. I'm still processing it. It's unplanned, and just under 5 weeks in, and there is always the big possibility of miscarriage this early. So you won't see anything about it on my facebook status, at least not for a while. The 5 people that read my blog can get an inside look at how I'm feeling. And I'll get excited enough to post on the bump blog every now and then I'm sure, although not nearly as often as before considering I'm already extremely busy with 2 kids and the photo business. Which reminds me, I will have to figure out a way to incorporate the new kid's (or kids') name(s) in the business. Maybe a special photo package or promotion.
ps: After all this I'd still use nuvaring. I know everyone with an unplanned pregnancy was on it, but this was totally my bad. I loved it as a birth control option.
