Fear Of Flying

Well, I have avoided flying for nearly 2 years now. I knew I would have to face my fear again sooner or later (I mean since we live in Japan and all, and I really didn't plan to be here forever).

I love to travel. LOVE it! But I am definitely more terrified of taking a plane than the average person. My dad had his pilot's license when I was growing up and he took my sisters and I up all the time. I would always ask him to do loop de loops and barrel rolls. He would let me hold the second wheel so I could feel like I was flying the plane too. I would watch the tiny little cars, and I'd imagine a girl my age looking up at the plane from her seat the way I did when we would see a plane while driving.  I would look out over the the water and roads and be fearless.

These days I have anxiety weeks, months even, before the trip. In fact, even when a trip isn't upon us just the thought of a flight is enough to keep me awake at night. I've come to the conclusion that it must be a control issue. I freak out the same way whenever I'm a passenger in a car too. I sit on my hands, clench my jaw, and pray silently until we reach our destination. Then I thank God the rest of the day for keeping me safe. In the air I feel like my fears are the only thing keeping us up there. I'm not a very superstitious person, but every flight I get a ginger ale. That was the first drink I ordered on my first commercial flight, and I got to my destination in one piece. I'm convinced that if I ever do die in a plane crash, it will be the day I ask for a diet coke.

Having kids helps me keep somewhat calm. Flying with young children is a grand distraction. While we are in the air, I am normally too consumed with taking control in the areas I can. I'm busy preparing bottles, reading stories, and paying attention to their general well-being to really freak out- except for when we take a Japanese airline and they give us all these little tidbits of information in Japanese before saying it in English. The Japanese are so reserved, I imagine that even if the stewardess was saying "ladies and gentleman, we are crashing into the Pacific Ocean right now and we will all be dead soon" they would just sit there quietly. I usually sneak a look around to see if any facial expressions turn to panic so I will know what to expect when they finally translate for us.

I have been blessed with the easiest little passengers ever. Since having children, I have never left an airplane without at least 2 people complimenting how well-behaved they are. I'm hoping that the older kids are just as easy to fly with at 4 and 2 as they were at 2 and 1 month, and that the baby does well on his first flight. I don't know that I could deal with anxiety from both flying and annoying everyone around us!

My blog will be a bit quiet until we get back. We won't have reliable internet access, and we will be preparing for a wedding/visiting family/pretty darn busy. But I'll have much to talk about when we return (assuming we do return and my fears of flying aren't fulfilled....aaah negativity, leave my head).

Philippines, here we come!