a new year's resolution post that kinda sorta isn't

The new year is really creeping up on me. I mean, where did December go? Or November for that matter? Wasn't Halloween just yesterday? Seriously. And here we are coming upon the possible final new year ever since the world will be ending in 2012. It probably won't. But still. It totally could. That doesn't sit well with me because there is just SO MUCH I want to do. So much I need to do. I realize in the grand scheme of things, if the world is ending it won't matter much because no one will be around to remember anything I do here. But hey, let's just make the most of the time we are given, shall we!

So here is (a small portion of) my list of things I must do before the world ends:

1. Organize photos into albums. If our world ends, there is a possibility of a new civilization being created, or even alien lifeforms landing. Even if I don't make it through, my photo albums might. My family and our photographs could be immortalized in the annals of history (hehe annals). This is a big deal, people! So it is my top priority for 2012. For a photogramom, I am pretty bad about printing pictures and keeping albums. My parents just had baby books for my sisters and I. Just one book each with mementos, letters from our mom, and photos of us from birth to maybe about 4. Since I have that whole perfectionist problem, I think the idea of just throwing all of my pictures in an album in such a disorderly fashion gave me a panic attack, so I'd rather not touch them. Then one day I had a genius idea that I don't know why I never thought of before: an album for each year. Duh, right?! And I will need lots of pictures to fill future albums, which brings me to world end goal #2...
   
   
   
2. Document EV-ER-Y-THING (but mostly just the good stuff). I'm so very bad about keeping my camera around. I like to blame my camera bag. It's kind of bulky, and adding that to the baby bag and 3 kids I also tote around, is just not ideal. But why don't you just put your camera in your baby bag? Because, I just don't. I will be investing in one of these beauties though
   
   
   I love Kelly Moore camera bags! They have separate compartments for your camera body and lenses, and are also big enough to hold diapers and wipes. Plus they are just gorgeous. I haven't decided on a style yet, but that one is pretty high on my list! So I'll be carrying around my equipment in a fashionable bag and won't allow myself any excuse to not have that camera around.
   
   
   
3. Make more time for hobbies. I love taking pictures. I want to learn the piano. I need to learn how to sew. Practice makes perfect. I want to set aside time to enjoy all the hobbies I love and all the hobbies I want to be good at. Someday one of those little aliens might be looking at my pictures and reading one of my yet-to-be-published novels while watching a video of me playing the piano, and he will be wearing some kind of drapery I've sewn that he has fashioned into a cape (assuming, of course, that my draperies and videos make it through the end of the world with my photo albums).
   
   
   
4. Focus more on family. Sometimes it's just hard to do. I get caught up in all the cleaning and the cooking, and by the end of the day I just need a moment to myself. I get incredibly annoyed when that moment is interrupted. I don't want to stress so much over everything else that I forget to just enjoy my husband and kids. In the end, I doubt I will say "man, I wish I spent more time cleaning!"
   
   
   
5. But still, I also want to keep a tidier home. I just need to utilize my time management skills better and know when to put down the broom and pick up my babies.
   
   
   
6. Cultivate strong friendships. I have my good friends, but for the most part I keep to myself and my little family. Sometimes it's a relief because when I catch wind of the latest gossip that happens to be untrue, I'm glad I'm not friends with the crazies spreading rumors (and in Okinawa, there happen to be A LOT of crazies). But then sometimes it's very lonely and pretty boring. It is hard having all of these kids and no babysitter for a girls night out, but that's an easy excuse to use. A lot of the time I'm too tired, and a lot of the time I just don't try. I want to be a reliable friend. If the crap hits the fan, I want to leave this world with many good friends by my side.
   
   
   
7. Finish the Bible. I've read bits and pieces of the bible throughout my life. I jump around from book to book and verse to verse. I have never read the entire Bible all the way through from beginning to end. In times of crisis, it is so important to have your faith to fall back on. Before the world ends, I want to have read the whole thing from Genesis to Revelations.
   
   
   
8. Continue working towards my degree as I have been, just in case the world doesn't end.
   
   
   
9. Avoid the negative people, because I do not want to spend my last days with anyone who can't find the humor and joy in the day to day more often than not.
   
   
   
10. Keep up with the laundry. End of the world or not, I don't want to keep letting this happen
    
    
    
    

Merry Kindle-mas!

This is my absolute most favorite gift this year:

I love to read!

Summary Of Our Trip To The PI

I'm back from the PI! Ok, so it isn't news since I've been home for a few weeks now. But let's all pretend to be just as glad as the moment I posted my home sweet home update on fb anyway!

So, how was my trip? Fantastic! Thanks for asking.

First of all, I got a diet coke on the airplane and DIDN'T die in a fiery crash. That was actually a slightly nerve-racking way for God to showcase his sense of humor and control. The stewardess came by with her drink cart and I so confidently asked for a ginger ale. When she told me they were out, I panicked for a moment and the only drink that crossed my mind out of all the drinks in the history of the world...was diet coke. I don't even like diet coke without a side of unsubstantiated fear, let alone with. But I got it, I drank it, I lived to tell the tale.

Want to know what really sucked though? I, with my countless hours of flying with children and vast knowledge of tips on keeping them from annoying other passengers, forgot...the...baby's...formula. If only I had made it through the month 6 rut and came out breastfeeding on the other side. Lucky for me though, I DO have that vast knowledge of keeping kids from being a nuisance, so it wasn't as bad as it probably would have been. Plus, Gabriel is literally THE happiest baby in the world. I gave him a container of baby food, let him chew up a french fry, and put a little bit of water in a bottle. Kid was asleep most of the flight, and my bad-mom-guilt didn't last.

When we stepped out of the airport to greet our family, I was first welcomed with winks and hi's by a few toothless middle-aged men. Made it past them in a mad dash to my sister in law, finally met her husband and my newest niece (as of the time of this post that is. There is a newer one on the way very soon), and then we were on the road to my mother-in-law's house. There was no a/c, no hot water for our showers, and no drinking from the tap. But we were all together, and I was happy. I was even happier when I discovered that in the Philippines, I was the best thing since sliced bread! They loved my skin AND my big schnoz. Winning! (Do we still say winning?)

Now, I apologize because since it has been so long, I can't remember all the little details that I like to blog about. But highlights include:

-Obviously the big one, my brother-in-law's wedding.
-The kids' baptism (which was done right in the middle of the wedding ceremony. My mother-in-law always knows how to get a deal).
-We stayed at a resort for a few days.
-In case you just skimmed over the part up there about no hot water, I would like to reiterate that I took cold showers for 3 whole weeks!
-Anywhere fresh orange juice was advertised, Tang was served instead.
-They love Tang.
-There was a parade and instead of throwing candy, they threw out Halls cough drops...Everyone went crazy for them.
-I had at least 2 filipino women watching my kids for me at any given time.
-I ate a LOT of 7up chicken.

I was hoping to write more and to get photos up, but it's taken me like 3 days to actually finish writing this post (I can barely get a moment alone to use the bathroom, consider what it's like trying to get to a computer to sit and write cohesive thoughts). You've seen my facebook anyway :)

Fear Of Flying

Well, I have avoided flying for nearly 2 years now. I knew I would have to face my fear again sooner or later (I mean since we live in Japan and all, and I really didn't plan to be here forever).

I love to travel. LOVE it! But I am definitely more terrified of taking a plane than the average person. My dad had his pilot's license when I was growing up and he took my sisters and I up all the time. I would always ask him to do loop de loops and barrel rolls. He would let me hold the second wheel so I could feel like I was flying the plane too. I would watch the tiny little cars, and I'd imagine a girl my age looking up at the plane from her seat the way I did when we would see a plane while driving.  I would look out over the the water and roads and be fearless.

These days I have anxiety weeks, months even, before the trip. In fact, even when a trip isn't upon us just the thought of a flight is enough to keep me awake at night. I've come to the conclusion that it must be a control issue. I freak out the same way whenever I'm a passenger in a car too. I sit on my hands, clench my jaw, and pray silently until we reach our destination. Then I thank God the rest of the day for keeping me safe. In the air I feel like my fears are the only thing keeping us up there. I'm not a very superstitious person, but every flight I get a ginger ale. That was the first drink I ordered on my first commercial flight, and I got to my destination in one piece. I'm convinced that if I ever do die in a plane crash, it will be the day I ask for a diet coke.

Having kids helps me keep somewhat calm. Flying with young children is a grand distraction. While we are in the air, I am normally too consumed with taking control in the areas I can. I'm busy preparing bottles, reading stories, and paying attention to their general well-being to really freak out- except for when we take a Japanese airline and they give us all these little tidbits of information in Japanese before saying it in English. The Japanese are so reserved, I imagine that even if the stewardess was saying "ladies and gentleman, we are crashing into the Pacific Ocean right now and we will all be dead soon" they would just sit there quietly. I usually sneak a look around to see if any facial expressions turn to panic so I will know what to expect when they finally translate for us.

I have been blessed with the easiest little passengers ever. Since having children, I have never left an airplane without at least 2 people complimenting how well-behaved they are. I'm hoping that the older kids are just as easy to fly with at 4 and 2 as they were at 2 and 1 month, and that the baby does well on his first flight. I don't know that I could deal with anxiety from both flying and annoying everyone around us!

My blog will be a bit quiet until we get back. We won't have reliable internet access, and we will be preparing for a wedding/visiting family/pretty darn busy. But I'll have much to talk about when we return (assuming we do return and my fears of flying aren't fulfilled....aaah negativity, leave my head).

Philippines, here we come!

How To Survive An Earthquake

We had a 6.8 magnitude earthquake while I was out with the kids yesterday afternoon. Talk about a fright!

Although I was born and raised in California, where earthquake drills in elementary school were about as frequent as a fire drill, I managed to go the first 18 years of my life without actually experiencing a real earthquake. It wasn't until the move to Hawaii, our second duty station, that I felt anything at all resembling an earthquake. And even then it was such a small tremor that we just assumed it was a plane flying overhead.

Shortly after moving to Japan, where 20% of the worlds strongest earthquakes occur, we experienced our very first no doubt about it earthquake. It woke us from our sleep. Brian, possibly still half asleep, ran down the wobbling stairs. His first concern was a 2 year old Bella, who could frequently be found on the couch with a bag of grapes watching Saved by the Bell marathons in the middle of the night. Our kids were both in their beds this time. Bella was certainly shaken up, but we calmed her down and she went back to sleep almost immediately.

A while after that earthquake, "mainland" Japan was hit with 2 more that were rather large and caused a considerable amount of damage. We live on the island of Okinawa, so we were only dealing with tsunami warnings (and calming down family riddled with concern for us after media sensationalism).

Things have been somewhat calm here. There was a huge typhoon that flooded my living room, put holes in my ceiling, and shut down my air conditioner during one of Brian's last TDYs. Other than that, calm. I was sort of expecting to sleep through another earthquake soon. But I was awake and out in public.

I recently switched Bella from her Monday ballet class to a ballet/tap class on Tuesdays, so yesterday was her first day in the new class.

I have such cute kids!!

After class I always take the kids to the BX food court so we can chow down on Subway for lunch. After lunch, we usually walk around the BX for a bit to burn off more energy before quiet time. I grabbed a few things to prepare for our trip to the Philippines (we leave soon....eeek! Expect a post in the very near future on travel with 3 kids under 5). I had to go to the baby aisle to buy diapers, but on the way we got distracted by the board games. I thought it was about time I bought a new game to play with Bella. I was in the process of deciding between "Cootie" or "Pretty Pretty Princess" when all of a sudden there was a loud rumble and all the shelves started shaking. I stopped what I was doing and stared around, kind of not sure of what to do at that point. It didn't last long, and everyone started looking at each other and smiling with nervous-laughter. Then again, another rumble and more shaking. A Japanese lady who was restocking toys looked at me and yelled "No! It's too big!" When the locals are concerned, you get even more concerned. At that point I walked the kids out to the middle of the store where there were no shelves or giant boxes of legos to crash on top of us.

I decided to keep walking around the BX for a while because if we were going to be hit by anymore earthquakes that day, I figured the stability of the BX was probably more reliable than our base housing. Once I was fairly certain the roads weren't going to split open, I went ahead and checked out and drove home. Once there I made sure the pets were fine, the picture frames were all still hanging on the wall, and that the TV was secure (our tv stand is thiiiiiis close to falling apart, and I keep saying one more earthquake will do it). The kids took their naps, and all was well with our little part of the world.

So I figure now is a great time to review earthquake safety tips! The change of duty stations also brings about a change in natural disasters you are likely to experience, so if you ever find yourself stationed in Japan (or California) here are some ways you can keep safe during an earthquake:

• If you are indoors, stay there. Quickly move to a safe location in the room such as under a strong desk, a strong table, or along an interior wall. The goal is to protect yourself from falling objects and be located near the structural strong points of the room. Avoid taking cover near windows, large mirrors, hanging objects, heavy furniture, heavy appliances or fireplaces.
• If you are cooking, turn off the stove and take cover.
• If you are outdoors, move to an open area where falling objects are unlikely to strike you. Move away from buildings, powerlines and trees.
• If you are driving, slow down smoothly and stop on the side of the road. Avoid stopping on or under bridges and overpasses, or under power lines, trees and large signs. Stay in your car.

Geology.com has more tips on what to do before and after an earthquake as well.

Make sure to always keep your emergency kits stocked with supplies, have a stash of non-perishable food and water, and review safety precautions for natural disasters in your area!

Take a Break

"Quiet time" is my favorite time of day. Around 1pm every afternoon all three of my kids go to their beds and either nap or do a silent activity. Gabriel finishes his bottle and knocks out soon after the older two are upstairs. King loves his sleep. He is always the last to wake up in the morning, and the first down at nap and bed time. Rarely is there ever a fight over it. He takes his blankey and his bear, says "ni-ni mo-mmy," and he is out. It's a bit more trying to get Bella to her room, but she eventually saunters up the stairs with a reluctant sigh and stays in her room for just under an hour before hurrying back down asking: "is quiet time over mommy?!" And at that point it is.

Usually I send Bella up for quiet time on her own, hoping that I can squeeze in just a few extra moments of solitude on my end. However, today she asked me if I wanted to go to her room for a bit to rub her back and talk to God with her. How could I excuse myself from that? Up the stairs I went following close behind my 4 year old who all at once seemed so young, yet suddenly grown up. Time is fleeting indeed.

I rubbed her back and listened to her as she spoke with God: "Hey, God. Where did you come from? Oh yea, the sky? Hey, God did you move the water so people could get through? Oh, you did? Did you make the ants? Yea, you did!" On and on she went asking God such precious questions, and then: "Thank you for making mommy and daddy's wedding, and thank you for my brothers." How sweet she can be! I told her how blessed I was that God gave her to me. I asked her what her favorite part of having me as a mommy was, hoping to get some insight on how I could be sure I was a blessing to her as well. She answered, "uh...cleaning!" Really, kid? She hasn't been offered much else from me I suppose. It seems as if all I'm doing is cleaning.

I've been feeling pretty inadequate in the mommy department lately. It's a difficult balance here. As I mentioned before, I am a perfectionist to the nth degree. A few months back I suppressed the clean freak in me long enough to have a food fight with the kids. I took all the leftovers from the fridge, put them in a big bowl, and mixed in some canned vegetables that I knew no one in the house would eat anyway. We put on old t-shirts and aprons and took the bowl outside. We set it in the middle of our yard, grabbed handfuls of food, and just started throwing.

It was disgusting and messy and tremendously FUN! Just as childhood should be. I had never heard Bella laugh so hard in her life.

I thoroughly enjoy my quiet time, but what a waste of all the rest of my time if at the end of the day all I have to show for it is a tidy home. I want my kids to giggle so much it wears them out, and I want to be the cause of it every day! So here is to more food fights, less not right now's, and a whole lot of laughter. Every. Single. Day.

"PCS Clean"

I am a total perfectionist. Now, this is not to say everything in my house is perfect. Quite the opposite in fact. Although it's true I do have a place for everything, hardly ever is everything in its place. One flaw that plagues us perfectionists is low productivity when we can't get everything, well, perfect. If the desk is cluttered, I can't bring myself to wash the dishes. If the floor isn't vacuumed, I can't bring myself to do the laundry (well, honestly even if everything is done it's hard to bring myself to do the laundry). My inner self knows that no matter how clean I get this place, it won't ever really be clean. So my strong will rebels against my body. Instead of getting down to work, I just sulk and sulk over the fact that I can't reach the dust bunnies behind the refrigerator.

I know, I know.

One crazy way that I've helped put my perfectionist self at ease is by doing a "PCS clean" once a month (for my readers not familiar with military lingo, PCS stands for "permanent change of station." Or in other words, when we get the heck out of here and move elsewhere). You know all that scrubbing marks off walls, washing floors and windows, cleaning light fixtures, large appliances, and trying to get whatever that stain is out of the carpet so your house can pass inspection...yes, I do THAT once a month.

I'm a huge fan of FlyLady. I know she emphasizes baby steps, but during these once a month deep cleans I throw that out the streak-free shiny window and take giant leaps instead. It generally takes me about 4 days to completely clean my home. I'm very big on lists and organization. FlyLady has a handy detailed cleaning list for each "zone" of the house. I generally start out my cleaning following that list, tweaking a bit to fit our home (check out her website if you have no clue of where to start with your cleaning! It's pretty helpful).

I like to break down my cleaning schedule like this:

Day 1: Declutter- I go through all closets, cabinets, and drawers and toss, sell, or donate anything just taking up space. These monthly purges are probably the most important and beneficial step. We accumulate a lot, and trying to go through everything during an actual PCS is overwhelming.

Day 2: Downstairs- I deep clean EVERYTHING downstairs. From the cobwebs on the ceiling to the dirt on the floorboards, everything gets scrubbed, wiped, and bleached. I dust all surfaces, clean off windows, computer monitors, and picture frames, wash all of the walls, clean the light fixtures, wash curtains and couch pillow cushions. The floors are all vacuumed, swept, mopped, and shampooed. The bathroom is cleaned from the top of the ceiling to the bottom of the toilet, the kitchen appliances are thoroughly washed, the litter box is bleached...you get the idea. Everything.

Day 3: Upstairs- I do a thorough deep cleaning upstairs just like downstairs. I'll spare the details, but our upstairs consists of 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and a linen closet.

Day 4: Laundry- I hate laundry. I usually put it off so long that it takes a day or two to complete, so during my "PCS clean" I dedicate a whole day to just washing and folding. To be completely honest, sometimes I put off doing the laundry so long that this once a month laundry marathon is the only time it gets done.

While I'm cleaning, I corral my kiddos in the playroom so that any mess they make will be confined to that one area. The playroom is usually the last room in the house that I clean, and they "help" at that point (help being they do what I tell them to do, and then I redo it when they aren't looking).

Overwhelming, slightly. But these monthly deep cleans calm my perfectionist soul. There is nothing quite like the feeling of Day 5.

Murphy

It is 1am and I am awake trying to clean up the damage Typhoon Muifa has done to my home. Around 10:30 last night I noticed water seeping into my home. A LOT of water.

I was able to keep the water somewhat contained with the help of literally every towel I own, and puppy pads. I knew we would be stuck in the house for a while with the typhoon, so I got a bag of them to keep my floors clean since I didn't want my dog to become a kite in that weather. She went almost a full 24 hours without even going to the bathroom at all though before I ended up braving the storm so she could relieve herself since she just did not want anything to do with those puppy pads. It's nice that they didn't go to waste.

The next 48 hours...the worst 48 hours of my life...played out on facebook as slowly, but surely everything that could go wrong did:

Jackeliene Raney

aww man, my house is flooding!!

Friday at 10:21pm · Privacy: ·  · 

Jackeliene Raney

omg I want to cry. the flooding is getting soooooo bad

Friday at 11:10pm · Privacy: ·  · 

Jackeliene Raney

I've been confined to my house for over 24 hours. My posts may start to get a little loopy.

Yesterday at 1:09am · Privacy: ·  · 

Jackeliene Raney

So much water in my house right now. So. Much. Water. Going as fast as I can soaking up water with my little carpet shampooer, but as soon as I empty the tank the floor is soaked again. Staying up all night to make sure 'Brian Raney's computer doesn't get any water damage. Thank goodness I rearranged the living room earlier so the tv and game systems aren't soaked!

23 hours ago · Privacy: ·  · 

Jackeliene Raney

Because someday I will need a laugh #reasonsthebiggeststormeveriso​ccuringrightnowwhileiamalonewi​thnoonetohelpmopupthefloodedca​rpet

23 hours ago · Privacy: ·  · 

Jackeliene Raney

Great, now my ceiling is leaking?!

21 hours ago · Privacy: ·  · 

Jackeliene Raney

‎41 inches of rain, and I'm pretty sure all of that is in my living room

12 hours ago · Privacy: ·  · 

Jackeliene Raney

A/C not working :(

12 hours ago · Privacy: ·  · 

Jackeliene Raney

Think I got my floors about as dry as I am going to get them. Carpet is bubbling like the ceiling :( My a/c is definitely not working right now. Stuck at 76 degrees in here.

10 hours ago · Privacy: ·  · 

Jackeliene Raney

It is 80 degrees in my house right now. Why is this happening???

about an hour ago · Privacy: ·  · 

Yes, on top of water damage to my house the air conditioner just decided to stop working. It is currently 80 degrees in my house. A very humid 80 degrees. There is moisture everywhere. My books and papers are all rippling. My blinds are starting to bend up at the bottom. My floors and walls are drenched. And the best part of all: I can do absolutely nothing about any of this right now! Maintenance is currently only putting in work orders for emergencies, and apparently this does not qualify for emergency status. It's like the middle class dilema- You don't make enough to afford the things you need, but you make too much to qualify for any type of assistance. My house was damaged, just not enough to get any help for another 2 days. And by then I'm sure there will be mold everywhere.

I am so happy Brian will finally be home soon.

Typhoon Mufasa

Oh hey, I'm here..you know...just chillin in the middle of a typhoon. At 11:30pm. Alone (well, with the kids. But they are asleep-all THREE).

Typhoon Muifa

I don't mind typhoons really. It's exciting. Trees falling over in the backyard, cardboard boxes flying into windows, witnessing the crazy locals drive in 120mph winds on the street behind my house. Our homes are basically concrete bunkers so we are safe, and I always did enjoy the rain. It's just being stuck inside I go a little stir-crazy. Gives me an excuse to catch up on laundry though, and the hundreds of photos I should be working on from all of my latest shoots.

These past few weeks have been such a bummer! My birthday this year was a total fail. It is simply impossible to keep up with the energy of all these chirren. Today I attempted to potty train an almost 2 year old while breastfeeding a three month old and simultaneously teach a 4 year old how to read. I miss my husband (as usual...). Thank the Lord he will be home soon (for at least a week). It's so tough doing this alone. Every time I think I got it down, something triggers a total meltdown. Usually it's just something as small as my sleep schedule being thrown off. If I'm not up by 5am, I feel like a failure and it fudges up my whole day. Ridiculous, I know. Then there is the fact that typhoons always seem to come right before I'm due to go grocery shopping. I pray that no one else ever has to attempt a trip to the commissary with three kids when a typhoon warning has been declared for the week. Thankfully I have a wonderful friend who watched the kids for me when I had to go the second time. I was literally in tears when she called asking if I needed help.

I'm praying hard that my other half gets picked up for Warrant Officer, and that we end up somewhere closer to home. Somewhere with Coralyn again, so we can go into business together painting and photographing pregnant bellies.

The greatest of these is love

I have been keeping up with my daily Bible readings on marriage and parenting, however life has gotten in the way. I was hoping to keep a daily posting of these passages along with a few words on what I got from reading them. I'm not finding the time to get to the computer long enough to write every day. I planned on just posting the verses, but even that turned out to be a tedious process. So instead I want to write about a verse that has really touched me the most, and that was coincidentally in both reading plans.

1 CORINTHIANS 13:1-13

"1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.


13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

I have no idea how many times I have read this passage. From the Bible, it has been turned into artwork

http://www.etsy.com/listing/71576836/love-is-1corinthians-13-wall-art-8x10?ref=pr_shop

It is the most popular verse read at weddings

Photo Credit

Stacie Orrico set it to music and made it one of my favorite songs.

It is everywhere! But admittedly, until yesterday I have only read 1 Corinthians 13 from a selfish view: how someone should love me. It was only when I read this chapter during the Parenting reading plan that God showed me this is how I am supposed to love my children, that this is how I do try to love my children (Love is patient), and that I need to show love to others the same as I do with my children.

When I got to the Marriage reading plan and saw the same verse for the same day, it was like someone smacked me in the head with the biggest Bible they could find. How many times have I read articles saying you should see your husband the way you see your children? I thought of the times Brian and I got into an argument. As I would sit there silently stewing in my anger I said that verse over and over to myself, wondering why he wasn't being patient, why he wasn't being kind, why he didn't love. There I was keeping every record of his every wrong. Yesterday I realized that I had been nothing.

"but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears." My understanding of this chapter is complete, seeing from the side of the selfish and now the selfless. I do deserve to be loved as it is described in 1 Corinthians 13. But even more so do I deserve to open myself to love others in such a complete and wholly Christlike way. I pray that God keeps reminding me of this in my day to day interactions with others!