To Tattoo or Not to Tattoo?

If that is the question, the answer should be no. But I love tattoos. I love the stories behind tattoos. I admire people who are covered in them. I know exactly what tattoos I want, and I know exactly where I want them, and I would be happy with one if I did get one. But I can't decide if I want to get one.

I have a huge problem with commitment. It's amazing that I'm even married. I'm not afraid of commitment. I just change my mind a lot. I may decide I want a tattoo, and a month later decide I didn't want it. But then I'd be stuck with it. Forever (ok, for the purpose of dramatics in this post forget laser removal).

I wish I knew for sure if I wanted one.

Dear Aunt Flo,

I hate you. I normally don't mind you so much. You have given me peace of mind, whereas the absence of you causes fear that I may fail a certain exam involving urine. You have forgotten me when it comes to cramps and bloating. In fact, most of the time I hardly even know you are hanging around (which is the way an uninvited house guest ought to behave). But you have really done it this time.

I woke up today to find you knocking at my door. I hoped you would wait longer, but you found your way in. And my husband will be home tomorrow night. Of course you have complete disregard for any special plans we may have had to celebrate his arrival. I TOLD YOU he would be home soon. I asked you to plan for later. Don't you care how I feel?

Being around you has made me totally uncomfortable, and you need to leave now.

The Big Reveal

I have been a vegetarian for 50 days (ok, I did have a double quarter pounder for dinner yesterday. But I mean, I'm not really a vegetarian for ethics. I don't really have an actual reason for being a vegetarian. So I didn't feel too bad about it). Today I put on a bathing suit for the first time since I was pregnant. I rocked it.

Please excuse the fact that I am modeling on my toilet. I don't have a full-length mirror. Also excuse the fact that Bella is trying to push me off the toilet so she can model her new dress.

I'm still a bit big in the hips/thighs...but I'm a mom of two, the second which was born less than 8 months ago. I'm pretty happy with myself.

Ze Greatest Singer in ze World

I have spent the past hour singing Celine Dion's greatest hits from the 90's, using Bella's plastic "echo mic"

Why? You may ask. Because it is 1:30am, and I am home alone (well, semi-alone. I always feel alone when the kids are sleeping), and bored. So naturally, singing "I'm Your Lady" at the top of my lungs was the first thing I thought to do with my time...

The Morning Routine

I think if my life was a reality show (which I sometimes wish it were, just so every moment could be caught forever so I could always relive the good parts), I think people would get a kick out of the morning routine: Every morning, Bella wakes me up. She usually says something like "I'm hungry" or "mommy, I wanna watch cartoons." And I always turn on the cartoons in my room, and for some reason I always expect that she will stay in my room to watch cartoons so I can get another hour of sleep. But then I wake up, and she is not there.

At this point, the baby wakes up so I get him. He's crying because he's hungry. The cat starts meowing at me because he is hungry too. Bella isn't hungry. Bella is downstairs eating a whole package of cheese, and there is an empty box of cereal on the floor. The cereal is in a pile on her table...and also under the table. But Bella is thirsty. I shake my head, and I will clean the mess later. Right now I have a baby crying because he is hungry, a cat meowing because he is hungry, and Bella crying because I'm not getting her a drink fast enough. Why is the cat's meow so long? A pause button would be nice here. Or at least a mute button. It is loud.

But if this were a sitcom, this would be hilarious. A lot more hilarious than it may sound because I am a horrible narrator. I just know that every morning, when I should want to pull my hair out, I can't help but laugh hysterically.

I may just be embracing crazy.

Bella entertains the locals

I just needed to write

I'm not exactly sure where I want to go with the post, so I'll just keep writing and see where it takes me:

Today felt strange. I found out Blake Webb passed away. Now, I don't even remember Blake and I ever conversing, but we did sit at the same lunch table on a number of occasions and hung with the same crowd. In fact, we participated in the same conversations. Just never directly to each other. I remember going to Hunan with him and the football team one time. I remember thinking he and Justin Summit looked alike, with the blond hair and ruddy cheeks. And I remember facebook "stalking" him from time to time (really, I would just click on his page as I made the rounds through my friends), and thinking "hmm..I should really add him as a friend and say hi"...And just hours before I found out, I had a dream about everyone from high school, and he was in it. He played a small roll in the dream, all he did was walk by. But he was there. And now he isn't.

It's sad that it takes moments like this, a classmate, a friend, leaving for everyone to come together. Because I know all across my facebook status updates, everyone was feeling the same thing. Shock first, then sadness. The memories, however small or long ago, are there. And now everyone talks about how much they appreciate and loved him. I need to remind myself to appreciate, love, and thank everyone while they are still around. I need to remember to say hi before the chance is gone.

On another note, I am severely homesick. I just need to be back. I love it here in Japan. I'm having a lot of fun, experiencing a completely different culture, and enjoying it immensely. But it just feels like we need to be home. Brian is thinking about doing green to gold, and I pray it happens for us. He's in Australia right now, and I am incredibly lonely so I am sure that has something to do with it. I have a lot of friends out here already, but it's just not the same yet. I know it will take time. This is the first duty station we've been to where I didn't have a girlfriend or wife of one of my husband's current friends to become friends with, so it feels like there is more pressure to have people like me because no one is obligated to lol.

hmm...what else?

I'm pretty certain of the career path I want to choose. Of course, I have said that before. I think us going home will help me out a lot though. Good babysitters, real schools, I might actually get more done. Oh, speaking of getting more done, Coralyn said I should post this picture to let everyone know I finished my class:

I rearranged the living room, put up curtains, and cleaned because I suddenly have all the time in the world. I'm hoping I fill more of that time with hobbies, and not so much of it on Facebook!

You know, life can be sad and confusing. But even when I am feeling down, I just feel so completely blessed. All my faith is in God. I have no doubt that He is making a way to do great things through me. Even in my darkest hour, I will be filled with joy.

The Giant Spider I Killed to Save My Family (but not before a photo-op)

I'm a Vegetarian: Day 26

Dinner tonight was black bean enchiladas and salad.

I absolutely LOVE being a vegetarian.

Done

No more pencils. No more books.

At least for now. I took my final today, and I passed. So I am officially done with my Anatomy & Physiology class! I even finished early, which means I got 50 extra credit points. I totally got an A.

Sometime during the chapters on the nervous system, I decided Medical Transcription is not my calling, or even my temporary calling. The plan was to get my certificate, then a temporary job as a medical transcriptionist, work from home, and eventually go back to school to get a degree doing something I love. This class made me reconsider. Half the stuff totally went over my head, mainly because I realized I have no interest in anything related to the medical field. Unless of course I'm dying, then I'm totally interested in the people working in the medical field saving my life, ya know?

I was really debating whether or not I should even be taking classes right now. On the one hand, I feel totally accomplished. On the other, I feel like a complete failure. You see, in order for me to get that A, my family had to suffer. Dinner was hardly made, the kids were babysat by the TV (and my friend Melissa, who I dedicate at least part of my grade to. Thanks Melissa), and my house...well, it looks like this right now:

This is what my back is turned to while I'm sitting at the computer taking quizzes and doing homework (and..ok, yes; playing Farmville).

Notice the pile of dvds that my son took off the shelf, the clean clothes that have yet to be put away because I hardly get a chance to go upstairs (forget ever folding them), my husband's shoes (that I pray to the Lord he doesn't need in Australia since he left them here), and my picture frame lying there broken on the end table (I'm blaming the cat, but it could've been anyone) next to a bag of trash.

I'm rethinking my priorities right now. I'm so glad I took the class, because if I hadn't I would be mad at myself for not doing it. Now, at least I can say for certain that it is just a horrible time to be going to school. My kids need me. My husband needs me. I need a clean house, and to put a real dinner on the table and on clean dishes. I need time for my hobbies, and to just have the chance to chill right now.

So until we are back in the states, I'm on hiatus. Now I'm off to feed my daughter a Kid Cuisine, and my son some jarred Gerber baby food. Tomorrow will be the beginning of cleaning and eating well again :)